Life insurance is a tough subject to broach no matter how strong the relationship. Dr. Diana Kirschner conversed with ConsumersAdvocate.org offering life advice regarding finance, illness, death, and how to approach your partner to ensure success on both sides of the relationship.
ConsumersAdvocate.org: Where and when is the best time for couples to discuss money and how it effects their future? Should you set the scene or let the conversation begin organically?
Dr. Diana: The best time to discuss money is when you are thinking about a vision for the future! Set the stage by taking a time out - when you will be alone together and can focus on co-creating an exciting future. Share dreams, hopes, plans and aspirations with each other. This allows the conversation to be a positive and team-building exercise instead of devolving into an argument.
ConsumersAdvocate.org: What is the biggest mistake you recognize couples make when discussing money, illness, or death? Can you offer any advice you would offer couples to avoid this mistake?
Dr. Diana: The biggest mistake couple make in discussing money is failing to realize that money has a symbolic meaning. Money means different things to each partner. It may represent issues of trust, personal and family security, power, freedom or pleasure. If you battle about money and don’t discover what the real concerns are, you and your spouse will just keep fighting the same battle over and over again. Discover the issues underlying conflicts about money. Take turns interviewing each other like a reporter would. Ask your partner about personal needs, wishes, fears and long-term goals. Don’t make any comments, just ask questions and take notes. As you are being interviewed, don’t hold back, speak your truth about your fears and your real dreams for the future. Review each other’s lists and look for the commonalities both in terms of fears and long-term goals. To manifest a win-win vision brainstorm together as a team.
ConsumersAdvocate.org: Would you like to offer any overall advice to couples when discussing these weighted topics to be most beneficial for both partners?
Dr. Diana: Create a long-term financial plan that will get you to the future vision you both want to create. Many couples do well by creating a shared budget with his, hers and shared money to help fulfill these personal and common goals. These steps lead to greater self-esteem and reduce any power imbalance in the couple. Remember, the goal is to be enjoying life together!
Dr. Diana's Gift!
If you keep running into conflicts about money that wreak havoc in your relationship, I have a gift for you: A complimentary 40 Minute Session by phone or Skype with one of my expert Love Mentor® coaches. Visit Dr. Diana's webpage to quickly speak with a wise and helpful Love Mentor®. Just say “Consumers sent me” for VIP treatment.
Bestselling author and psychologist Dr. Diana Kirschner starred in a PBS TV Special on love. Along with her team of expert Love Mentor ® coaches she has helped tens of thousands all over the world to create more loving relationships. Dr. Diana’s website, www.Lovein90Days.com, is a leading source of dating and relationship advice. Her relationship advice book is 30 Days to Love: The Ultimate Relationship Turnaround Guide.